Can Couples Sealed in a Mormon Temple Get “Unsealed”?

Yes, for just as Jesus empowered his apostles that “whatsoever ye bind (seal) on earth shall be bound (sealed) in heaven,” so too he declared “and whatsoever ye loose (unseal) on earth shall be loosed (unsealed) in heaven” (Matthew 18:18).

Marriages in Mormon temples are meant to be eternal covenants.  Children born into those marriages are meant to be sealed to their parents for eternity.  Mormon temple sealings are also meant to seal the participants into God’s eternal family.  Those who continue in worthiness and charity (defined as the “pure love of Christ”) may inherit the highest kingdom of heaven, where God dwells, and where marriages and families can continue.

The divorce rate for Mormon temple marriages is about 7%, too high, but much lower than the divorce rate for religious people of all faiths (25%) and the general American population (about 50%).  Any divorce is lamentable, as the break-up of families causes devastation to both spouses and their children, but the break-up of a temple marriage is even sadder.  Grounds for the break up of a temple marriage must be more serious than irreconcilable differences, and sometimes the break up is due to serious sin without repentance.

If a temple-married member of the Church believes he or she has grounds to be unsealed from his or her spouse, he or she must first meet with the bishop (like a pastor) of the ward (congregation) to determine, through discussion, fasting, and prayer, if alternatives to unsealing might be appropriate. If no appropriate alternatives are found, the bishop refers the member to the stake president (who administrates a regional group of wards) for further consultation. Should the stake president and the member be unsuccessful in finding alternatives, the stake president prepares the necessary documentation to refer the matter to the First Presidency of the Church, consisting of the president and prophet of the Church and his two counselors, who are also apostles.

If the First Presidency concurs that the reasons for unsealing the couple are legitimate, the president places his signature on a document entitled “Cancellation of Temple Sealing,” which is then mailed to the stake president, who then conveys it to the member. The member is thereby officially unsealed from his or her spouse. The unsealing of the parents as spouses does not necessarily affect the sealing of the children to each of their parents. The disposition of the sealing of the children to their parents will ultimately be decided by the Lord himself, since only he has all knowledge of the persons and circumstances concerned.

Often the sealing is left in place until the complaining party has the opportunity to wed again in the Mormon temple, because the power and blessings that accompany this temple covenant are so desirable, that they should stay in place as long as possible.

It is certain that the Lord will decide such issues with perfect love, justice, and mercy. No child or adult will be unfairly treated in the Day of Judgment when the Lord Himself will determine the status of all sealings. On Judgment Day, no person will remain sealed to someone who doesn’t truly love that person nor whom they do not truly love, nor will any worthy person who was single on the earth remain unsealed in eternity if he or she desires to be united in matrimony. For each of these worthy persons, the Lord will provide an equally worthy and loving companion for eternity.

*This article has been adapted from Mormons Under a Microscope, by D. Lauritsen, Cedar Fort, Inc., Springville, Utah, 2010, pp. 15, 16.

Additional Resources

Mormon Temple Covenants

Basic Mormon Beliefs

Life Before Life

Mormons and the Bible

Challenging Questions

Mormon Temple Endowment Ceremony

The endowment ceremony performed in Mormon temples (of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) is the subject of curiousity by many friends of other faiths.  In reality, it is a peaceful and sacred ritual repeated many times daily in LDS Temples around the world.  The endowment ceremony is partly shown on film and partly recited.  It is always the same and takes about ninety minutes to complete.  Most temples have several endowment rooms, which look like small auditoriums, but decorated in light and heavenly hues.  Endowment sessions usually are scheduled every 20 to 30 minutes.  A temple patron performs an endowment ceremony once for himself or herself.  Thereafter, he or she performs the ceremony by proxy for a deceased ancestor.  The ordinances and covenants performed there can be accepted or rejected by the dead.  (See Doctrine and Covenants, Section 138.)

An “endowment” is a gift.  The Mormon endowment is a gift of peace, power, and protection from God as a reward for making and keeping covenants.  “An endowment is a gift of knowledge—a series of instructions and covenants—that enable participants to leave the House of the Lord and walk from day to day with God’s Spirit and an increase in spiritual strength and direction.” [1] 

Instruction given during the Mormon endowment ceremony relates to God’s eternal “Plan of Salvation.”  The plan of salvation centers on the atonement of Jesus Christ.  The fall of Adam is seen by Mormons as an integral part of God’s plan.  Yet, because of the fall of Adam, we live in a “lone and dreary world” where men are carnal and need to be lifted spiritually.  Much is said about Latter-day Saints’ emphasis on works, but no one can save himself.  God’s grace is necessary, not only to save us, but to help us on a daily basis.  By reviewing God’s plan for us, we can see how we can progress to be more like Him.

Progression is the idea behind God’s Plan of Salvation.  We continually strive to keep God’s commandments more fully, beginning with a seed of faith that helps us to be kinder, and to sacrifice material things for spiritual progress.  In the temple, during the endowment ceremony, Mormons make a series of covenants and participate in ordinances meant to lead us to the point where we are centrally focused on God’s kingdom and doing God’s will.

The covenants that Mormons make during the endowment ceremony are not secret.  But they are sacred, and Mormons do not discuss them outside the holy place, not even with other Mormons who have been through the temple.  These covenants can only be described outside of the temple in general terms, as is done here by James E. Talmage:

The ordinances of the endowment embody certain obligations on the part of the individual, such as covenant and promise to observe the law of strict virtue and chastity, to be charitable, benevolent, tolerant and pure; to devote both talent and material means to the spread of truth and the uplifting of the race; to maintain devotion to the cause of truth; and to seek in every way to contribute to the great preparation that the earth may be made ready to receive her King,-the Lord Jesus Christ. With the taking of each covenant and the assuming of each obligation a promised blessing is pronounced, contingent upon the faithful observance of the conditions.

No jot, iota, or tittle of the temple rites is otherwise than uplifting and sanctifying. In every detail the endowment ceremony contributes to covenants of morality of life, consecration of person to high ideals, devotion to truth…and allegiance to God. (James E. Talmage, The House of the Lord, p. 84)

Temple Clothing

Mormons arrive at temples wearing “Sunday best” clothing.  Once inside the temple, they change into white clothing, representing purity before God.  All are equal in the temple.  It is impossible to tell how rich or poor a person is, or what the person’s vocation might be.  (The illustration at right is an example of what a female member of the Church might wear during the endowment ceremony.)

After a person has performed the endowment ceremony for himself or herself, he or she wears a “temple garment” under everyday clothing.  The temple garment is very similar to the Jewish symbolic undergarment (the tzitzit).  A Jewish tzitzit has tassels that are knotted to represent the 613 commandments of the Law of Moses.  The Mormon garment has small symbols interwoven to represent the covenants made in the temple.  These symbols remind the person that he or she has made commitments to God to live an honorable life and to keep the commandments of Christ.

The world tends to hold temple garments in derision, which is highly unfortunate.  Many of the world’s religions, if not all, have special clothing for special occasions, and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is no different.  Many Christians wear jewelry displaying a crucifix to remind them of the sacrifice Christ made for them.  Wearing a necklace with a cross shows the world that the person is a believer.  The Mormon temple garment reminds the wearer that he or she has covenanted with Christ to live as He has commanded.  For a Mormon to keep temple covenants is to live innocently, to be kind, to help the poor, to be chaste and honest, and to be temperate in all things.

Tijuana Mexico Temple

On October 2, 2010, at the commencement of the 180th general conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, President Thomas S. Monson announced the construction of a new temple in Tijuana, Mexico.  There are six stakes in Tijuana with several stakes in nearby Sonora and Baja California.  This will be the 13th temple in Mexico.  Until now, Latter-day Saints in Tijuana have had to cross the U.S. border to get to the San Diego California Temple.

Lisbon Portugal Temple

On October 2, 2010, at the commencement of the 180th general conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, President Thomas S. Monson announced the construction of a new temple in Lisbon Portugal.  This will be the first temple for Portugal.  Latter-day Saints in the country currently travel to the nearest temple in Madrid, Spain, a 400-mile drive.

Portugal currently has 6 stakes and 4 districts.  Local congregations are called wards.  They are under the administration of groups of wards, called stakes.  Congregations too small to be wards are called branches.  Groups of branches are organized into districts.

Hartford Connecticut Temple

On October 2, 2010, at the commencement of the 180th general conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, President Thomas S. Monson announced the construction of a new temple in Hartford, Connecticut.

A new temple to be built in Harford was announced 18 years ago, but the Church was unable to procure property for the construction.  During the years the Church was trying to purchase a building site, membership to the north and south of Hartford burgeoned, prompting the Church to abandon the project in Hartford and build temples to the north and south of the area, namely the Boston Massachusetts Temple, and the Manhatten New York Temple.

The Hartford Connecticut Temple will be the first temple built in Connecticut and the second built in New England.

Urdaneta Philippines Temple

On October 2, 2010, at the commencement of the 180th general conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, President Thomas S. Monson announced the building of a new temple in Urdaneta, Pangasinan, Philippines.

Urdaneta is located about 100 miles north of Manila on the island of Luzon.  Latter-day Saints in the area currently attend the Manila Philippines Temple.  There are ninety-nine stakes and districts in the area. 

Recently, the Mormon Church re-aligned missions around the world to better facilitate missionary work. In June 2011, the Philippines Baguio Mission will be relocated to Urdaneta City, which offers a more central and accessible location for the members and missionaries of the mission. A new mission home and office will be located next to the recently refurbished Urdaneta Philippines Stake Center.

With the addition of the Urdaneta temple, there will be three temples in the Philippines. The third is the Cebu Philippines Temple.

Indianapolis Indiana Temple

On October 2, 2010, at the commencement of the 180th general conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, President Thomas S. Monson announced that a new temple would be built in Indianapolis, Indiana.  Early in 2011 the location for the future temple was announced: The temple will be located in the city of Carmel on the southwest corner of the intersection of W116th and Spring Mill Road.

There are eleven stakes of the Mormon Church in Indiana, and these Latter-day Saints must currently travel 130 miles to the Louisville Kentucky Temple to attend.

Payson Utah Temple

On 25th January 2010, President Thomas S. Monson, prophet of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, announced that a Mormon temple was planned for the city of Payson, Utah.  The new temple will help relieve the pressure of use on the nearby Provo Utah Temple.

The proposed temple site is on the south-west of Payson, near the I-15 highway, and when the building is completed, the temple district will encompass an area serving almost 80,000 members of the Mormon Church.

There are currently 14 other temples in operation and announced throughout the state of Utah.

In early fall of 2011, the LDS Church released a rendering of the future temple:

 

The groundbreaking for the Payson Utah Temple took place on Saturday, October 8, 2011.  About 6,000 people braved rain and cold to witness the event.  Prayers to lift the rain for the event were answered, but the unseasonable cold remained.   Elder Dallin H. Oaks presided over and offered the dedicatory prayer at the service, witnessed via TV transmission by other Latter-day Saints gathered in meetinghouses elsewhere in the temple district, which stretches from Spanish Fork on the north to Nephi on the south. [1]

When the temple is completed, it will be about 96,000 square feet in size, and will serve approximately 78,000 church members in 22 stakes, including nine in Spanish Fork and six in Payson.  Said Elder Oaks, “Standing just adjacent to I-15, the major north-south artery in Utah, the Payson Temple will be a dominant and visible influence on the millions who pass here, by day and by night.”

Elder William R. Walker of the Quorum of the Seventy addressed the congregation during the ceremony.  Elder Walker is the executive director of the Church’s Temple Department.  Other speakers on the program were Elder Walker’s wife, Vicki V. Walker, and Elder Steven E. Snow of the Presidency of the Seventy.

 

 

Brigham City Utah Temple

The plan to build a new temple in Brigham City Utah was announced at the general conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in October, 2009.  The temple will be built on the property at 250 S. Main St., directly west of and across the street from the church’s Brigham City Tabernacle at 251 S. Main.  When completed, it will be the 14th LDS temple in Utah. At the time the temple was announced, the church had 130 temples in operation worldwide, with another 21 either announced or under construction.

The city block — known to locals as Central Square — once was home to Brigham City’s Central Elementary School. After the school was razed, a professional plaza-type development was projected for the property. A recent sign on Central Square announced the property had been sold.

The block is bordered in both directions along Main Street by retail businesses and to the west by private residences.  The Box Elder Tabernacle, completed in 1890, was gutted by fire in February 1896 and rebuilt and rededicated a year later. It was closed in 1986 for major restoration and reopened and rededicated in April 1987.

With its steeple being one of the community’s most visible landmarks for miles, the tabernacle is still used for LDS conferences, concerts and other community meetings. It was included on the National Register of Historical Places in 1971 — one of the state’s first such designated sites.

A groundbreaking ceremony was announced for July 31, 2010, at 9:00 a.m.  The public was invited to attend. The event was also broadcasted to stake centers in the temple district.

Patterned after classic designs found at the Logan, Manti and Salt Lake temples, the Brigham City temple will have a limestone exterior and face east toward the tabernacle. The temple will have two spires. The angel Moroni will reach several feet higher than the highest point of the tabernacle.  Two tiered parking will enable the temple and parking to fit on the 3-acre lot.  Attractive fencing, garden and fountain will create a tranquil setting, even though the location is downtown.

Mormon Beliefs: Celestial Marriage

The union of a man and woman in marriage brings together God’s greatest creations. Marriage and sealing in the temple of our Lord is for time and all eternity. This is the ultimate ordinance and covenant that makes possible exaltation and eternal life. If we are true and faithful to the new and everlasting covenant of marriage, we can become co-heirs with Christ and share in His attributes, including the ability to create  (see Doctrine and Covenants 131; 132:19). Each spouse should make his or her primary concern the well-being and happiness of their companion. In this union, the purpose is to create a family. The family should strive to live in love and harmony so as to help each member become a disciple of Jesus Christ and build up the Kingdom of God here upon the earth.

THE SCRIPTURES TEACH US

• Moses 3:24—Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh.
  • The unity of husband and wife brings a oneness like unto the Godhead—one in purpose, cause, and action. President Marion G. Romney provided the following commentary on the meaning of one flesh: “They [husband and wife] should be one in harmony, respect, mutual consideration. Neither should plan or follow an independent course of action. They should consult, plan and decide together”  (Ensign, Dec. 1978, p. 2.). Unity is the key. If we are not one, we are not the Lord’s” (see Doctrine and Covenants 38:27).

• Doctrine and Covenants 49:15-16—”And again, verily I say unto you, that whoso forbiddeth to marry is not ordained of God, for marriage is ordained of God unto man.  Wherefore, it is lawful that he should have one wife, and they twain shall be one flesh, and all this that the earth might answer the end of its creation;…”

Marriage is not only ordained of God but is the very institution without which the plan of salvation and the purpose for which the earth was created would have been in vain. The earth is the venue for the physical creation and testing of Heavenly Father’s children.

 

MODERN PROPHETS SPEAK

 

Perhaps our greatest concern is with families. The family is falling apart all over the world. The old ties that bound together father and mother and children are breaking everywhere. We must face this in our own midst. There are too many broken homes among our own. The love that led to marriage somehow evaporates, and hatred fills its place. Hearts are broken, children weep. Can we not do better? Of course we can. It is selfishness that brings about most of these tragedies. If there is forbearance, if there is forgiveness, if there is an anxious looking after the happiness of one’s companion, then love will flourish and blossom (Gordon B. Hinckley, “Look to the Future,” Ensign, November 1997, 67).

If you will make your first concern the comfort, the well-being, and the happiness of your companion, sublimating any personal concern to that loftier goal, you will be happy, and your marriage will go on through eternity. (“A Three-Point Challenge,” BYU Commencement Address, April 27, 1995.)

(Gordon B. Hinckley, Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1997], 328-329.)

 

Marriage, designed to be an eternal covenant, is the most glorious and most exalting principle of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Faithfulness to the marriage covenant brings the fullest joy here and glorious rewards hereafter. The abuse of this sacred ordinance despoils the lives of individuals, wrecks the basic institution of the home, and causes the downfall of nations. (So Shall Ye Reap, p. 106.)

Marriage, the home, and family are more than mere social institutions. They are divine, not man-made. God ordained marriage from the very beginning. In the record of that first marriage recorded in Genesis, the Lord makes four significant pronouncements: first, that it is not good for man to be alone; second, that woman was created to be a helpmeet for man; third, that they twain should be one flesh; and fourth, that man should leave father and mother and cleave unto his wife. (See Genesis 2:18, 24.)

(Ezra Taft Benson, The Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1988], 534.)

Settle for nothing less than a temple marriage. In the temple we receive the highest ordinance available to men and women, the sealing of husbands and wives together for eternity. We hope our young people will settle for nothing less than a temple marriage. We hope you who are married will remember the feelings of love which led you to the altar in the house of the Lord. Our hearts are saddened as we learn of many whose love has grown cold or who through reasons of selfishness or transgression forget or treat lightly the marriage covenants they made in the temple. We plead with husbands and wives to have love and respect for each other. Indeed, it would be our fondest hope that each family would be blessed with a mother and father who express love for each other, who are deferential to each other, and who work together to strengthen the bonds of marriage. (94-11)

Eternal marriage is the most powerful principle in promoting stable homes. There is no more powerful principle of life to promote love, forbearance, and devotion in the home than that of eternal marriage. Good adjustment and performance in adult life depend largely on the quality of home life. The principle of eternal marriage is a most powerful stabilizing influence in promoting the kind of home needed to rear children who are happy and well adjusted. (72-03, p. 65)

(Howard W. Hunter, The Teachings of Howard W. Hunter, edited by Clyde J. Williams [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1997], 131.)

The prime purpose of marriage is to provide mortal bodies for God’s children. You young men must ever keep in mind that your lovely companion is possessed of finer sensibilities than you, and if your private conduct is brutal or beastly, bitterness and even disgust may drive out of her heart the affection and regard she once held for you. Both of you must remember that the prime purpose of your marriage under God’s command is to build the bridge from the eternity of spirits to mortality, over which God’s spirit children might come into mortal bodies. Your failure to remember that revealed truth will be your failure to attain the highest bliss in married life. (45-20, p. 174)

(Harold B. Lee, The Teachings of Harold B. Lee, edited by Clyde J. Williams [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1996], 239.)

 

IDEAS FOR DAILY LIVING

 

Here is a checklist of ten helpful hints for a successful marriage:

1. Love—Show your love, both verbally and by your actions.

2. Vision—Share with your spouse a common vision for your marriage. Counsel together often.

3. Flexibility—Always be willing to accommodate each other. Remember, if it is important to your mate, it is important to you.

4. Respect—Always remember that selfishness is the destroyer of all relationships; mutual respect is built on trust, commitment, and love.

5. Togetherness—Do things together—pray together, search the scriptures together, eat together, read together, play together, shop together, work together, raise your children together—in essence, whenever possible, do all things together.

6. Admiration—Look for the good in each other. You might even write a love letter listing all the reasons why you love your spouse.

7. Enjoyment—Go on a weekly date; have fun together.

8. Communication—Talk to each other: communicate your needs, desires, and wishes rather than experience unrealized expectations, which often results in negative feelings.

9. Joy—Write a list of things you and your mate can do that will bring joy and happiness to your marriage.

10. Goals—Set some goals and make some plans to achieve the “vision” of your marriage.

SOME MORE THOUGHTS ON CELESTIAL MARRIAGE

 

• “Commitment to one another makes a marriage strong. Love—the concern and service one gives—will make your marriage blossom.” —Anonymous
• “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”  —Mignon McLaughlin
• “The Vital C’s in Marriage: Communication, Consideration, Cooperation, Companionship, Commitment.” —Anonymous
• “The highest happiness on earth is marriage. Every man who is happily married is a successful man, even if he has failed in everything else.” —William Lyon Phelps

SUMMARY

 

Oh, the list of helpful hints could go on and on. The main thing is to care for each other. The world is full of divorce and separation, which always bring sadness to those involved. The world is also full of happy marriages and families, invariably based on commitment, tireless effort, courtesy, charity, and spiritual unity. Celestial marriage is heavenly marriage, eternal marriage—sanctioned and commissioned by the Almighty, anchored in covenant fidelity, vitalized by the Holy Spirit, infused with lasting bonds of love, and edified by the saving and enduring principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

 

*This article has been adapted from What We Need to Know and Do, by Ed Pinegar and Richard J. Allen.

 

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